If Intentions Were Promises

Why exactly do people say "i'm here for you" if they don't really mean it?  Seriously.  I don't understand the issue.  You're there to support me as long as i don't actually need support...?

Maybe i missed something in my development, but aren't people who act like they're "there for you", yet bail whenever you need them, i don't know, not a friend?

I mean, that's what i believe.  According to a couple people in my life, i'm very wrong.  *sigh*

People suck.  Frankly, a large part of the human race is a waste of space.

Maybe she was wrong...  Maybe ex-es aren't meant to be our friends.  *shakes head*  I just don't know.

Oy vey.  It's just another day in paradise, eh?  Yea, my thoughts exactly.

Don't mess with the status quo and no one with mess with us.  Not kidding.  Kind of like saying "don't rock the boat".  People don't like to be encroached upon.

Oh, "do you mind if i ask what's bothering you?" translates to "please don't let it be about me in any way" and or "i want to know if she's figured that out or if i still have her in the dark about it...".  Ad nauseum.

Here's a clue.  Most people believe they're secrets are hidden from me, but they come out through their expressions, tone, and body language.  Very little is actually secret in this world.  We live in a "me" society so people are constantly giving themselves away.

Not me though.  I play my cards very close to my chest.  Very.  Like, you can't even see the cards.  It infuriates people because they say they "don't know how i really feel or what i really think".  About them.  They don't care what i actually feel or think for myself.  Just what i feel or think about them.  Of course, i'm very good at reassuring my feelings towards others, but it never seems to be enough since i don't emasculate or build them up with my words.

I am plainly honest.  About everything.  That frightens people.

I love you is simple, honest, and deeply personal.  It should never have to be "proven".  The look on my face, in my eyes, and all over my body says all there is to say.  I love you and i'm vulnerable because of it, but i don't mind because i love you.

Or is it just too simple to understand.  Life isn't actually all that complicated.  Unless you make it that way for yourself.

What has to have happened to you for you to not be able to trust when someone says "i love you"?  It's sad.

My intentions are my promises.  To myself.  Eventually, to others also.

One of the greatest things in life is to feel love.  To share with others.  Mostly, to chance it, be hurt, and love even harder.

People will never understand.

I want to go to Hawaii.  No one knows but me.

They need to know i'm interested in their lives.  Showing an interest in someone else's would be too out of character for them.

I really should have chosen my friends more wisely.  I'm paying for it now.

I alone in the crowd.