You said "I love you".

There's a whole lot of nonsense about loving someone, letting them go, and them coming back to you.

Honestly, who believes such drivel? I do. Well, the spirit of it anyway.

It takes tremendous courage to let someone leave you.

Because that is what they are essentially doing.

They are leaving you. And it's terrifying.

To fully allow the exit of someone from our lives.
To silently live with the hope that they'll one day return, but knowing they most likely won't.

It's painful. Very.

Because you can't help but to hope.

That they'll want you again.

Because "I can't be that bad of a person, can i?" is always there. Always.

We need them to need us.

Please need me.

To have the courage to leave...

To live with the terror of not knowing...

To bear the pain of losing them...

I need you.

Maybe we aren't meant to understand.
Maybe it isn't possible.
Maybe things simply get too big. And we have to walk away for a time.
Maybe that's good for us.

If life were scripted, you and i would be together.

Always and forever.

You say things so much better than me. I fail tog ive my feelings adequate words. I can't convey and i come off seeming to be superficial and murky.

I can never find the words i need when what i am saying is so very important.

She is my muse...

All she had to say was "I love you" and the words become mundane. Lost. Even to me.

The magic of words.

Time is needed.
Time is constant yet fickle of each individual's company.
Time is short, yet endless.

We didn't get enough time. Could that be our failing? We believed we had all the time in the world. We were selfish and began to squander what had been so precious to us. In that, we also began to covet each other's time - the time when we were apart...

Could be we forgot the easy, quiet because we foolishly believed we to work for all that is great in our lives. Trouble is, there is no realizing how much greater was our simple existence together.

We allowed the world to dictate and change what we thought WE should be. We let ourselves believe the world's view of us instead of just being what we had always been... us.

I needed a lifetime, yet you wanted forever. It took so long to realize we were seeking the same thing.

I still need you.

That's the trouble with letting go...

We aren't supposed to say those things anymore...

Not even to ourselves...

I think.

We can't help what we feel.

It never occured to me.

In the rendering of the every day world, one would imagine there are other people in existence who have some semblence of humanity and common sense. One would...

Not me. I know better.

The other people in the world will only ever see life from their own individual perspective. Their own selfish point of view is the glass in which they view life through. There are so very few exceptions, it's impossible for me to consider that anyone i encounter acts without the vision of pure selfishness.

Life through their own point of view and no other.

*shrugs*

I foolishly wish to meet someone who can truly look at life from a perspective not their own. Well, having been on this earth this long, i sincerely doubt it.

You know, i had someone in my life at one point who meant so very much to me, but she fell in love with me and then denied it to herself, and everyone else. Apparently, she had convinced herself she couldn't have a future with me. I believe her conviction ruined any chance of happiness between us at all. No wonder we really don't talk anymore, is it? Although, her desire for "what else" was out there for her combined with her refusal to acknowledge my value in her life has left me with many questions. All the usual questions. What if? Why? If only... You get it.

Eh. Water under the bridge at this point.

I have bigger fish to fry. So to speak.

Leave the love.